User blog comment:Eclipseowl/No Place Like Home/@comment-10734109-20140605002324

If you're okay with harsh criticism, I have some advice :) I'm sorry if I sound a bit rude, but there's no point in sugarcoating things when that would just make this take longer ^_^'

First, I have a few questions.

1. Will there be a later significance to the moon?

2. If Mason is in middle school, why is he turning 15?

I also have a few suggestions.

1. Each of the characters seems to be at COMPLETELY different ends of the spectrum. The main character is a complete social outcast, her best friend is perfect, Brooklyn is a complete disgrace to humanity, and Mason is Mr. Popular. If each character's role were to be toned down a bit, they would appear to be more believable. Here's an idea for each character:

Gracie- Overall personality can be based off of this. She excels most in art and English, but other than that should be fairly average or a bit shaky in other areas. You had said that she was not the smartest of people, but then said that she was good in basically all of her school subjects in the next sentence. If she is not supposed to be the brightest of people and is idealistic (with the moon) and daydreams a lot, science and math would not be her strong points. Plus, if she's the kind protagonist, she should not be getting on Brooklyn about getting an invitation since that seems more like something that Brooklyn would be likely to do.

Aubrey- Overall personality can be bassed off of this. Aubrey should not necessarily be good at everything, but should excel mostly in school subjects but not do so well in the arts or physical education. Otherwise, she appears to be too much of a Mary Sue. The two characters should have also been best friends since elementary school, and Aubrey would have wanted to stay with Gracie due to a strong bond that they had developed over that time. She could also help Gracie on school work.

Brooklyn- Overall personality can be based off of this. She does not, of course, have to be as kind as is described there. The biggest jerks on this chart, however, are usually more intelligent, and intelligence is much more related to the ratings than kindness is. Either way, Brooklyn should not be necessarily the brightest of students, nor should she be the teachers' pet. It's very uncommon for rude actions like hers to show up only occassionally when she's around certain people, especially if it's as extreme as spilling lunch. If Brooklyn is popular, then she should have a large group of friends with a few exceptions. These exceptions should only be there for a reason, and not just because. If Gracie had done something to make her look like a complete fool or had been rude back to Brooklyn when she was teased, the tension would make much more sense. Characters should not just be naturally evil, but should be given a REASON to be evil. Plus, if she is not liked, then she would not be popular.

Mason- Overall personality can be based off of this. His personality seems somewhat similar to the popular guy in my story, so I think that personality type would work well. He should be turning 13 since he's in 7th grade, too. Aside from that, he has fallen into the category of "overly popular." Unless he is a famous popstar or actor, or the school's community is very small, his popularity is a bit out of proportion. Perhaps all of the 7th graders and maybe the 8th graders know who he is, but it's doubtful that the highschoolers would be included, especially since he is much younger than they are and they would simply consider him as a child. It's also unlikely that all the girls would like him. Many 7th graders do not like boys in general, boys their age, or boys that they do not know well. That's my personal experience, and since everyone has very different tastes he would probably not appeal to everyone. For instance, I think guys look the exceptionally attractive when they have a sort of goatee, but I realize that many other girls do not feel the same way as me. Mason also needs a REASON to be popular, which would probably be relating to a sports team. Plus, it's also likely that he would not announce that he was giving out invitations when people who would not be invited were present in the room. Rather, he would give it to them in private, through the mail, in their lockers, or something of the sort.

2. If the blue moon is significant, a bit more detail should be placed on it in the prologue. It would also serve us well to know how the character relations developed.

3. It's never bad to give your protagonists bad qualities and your antagonists good qualities, especially in realistic fiction :)

I hope this was helpful! I think that the plot is very interesting so far, but with a bit of character tweaking you could make it that much better :)