User blog comment:Flyingace4/Harmony Reborn/@comment-24367038-20140616004610

So this chapter is really, really rushed. The introductions are all piled on at once, and there's no build-up time at all for the realization that they are the elements. If you plan on furthuring this, that's something major you'll need to fix. Maybe have it so that Glitch meets a few friends on her way to the castle, have some exposition unfold while they're walking or something. And maybe have one or two run in late to the castle, to give it more time to just...build. And aren't these elements of ''friendship? ''It leaves me a but confused that these poines are complete strangers, then all of a sudden told that they are to bear elements of friendship, formed and connected by strong relations. I think it'd be best to maybe do something to the effect of a Twilight exposition scene, where she's with the other royals, looking down on the new Six and realizing their destinies. That way, we can get a full view of the import of them being friends. And then maybe have them all meet up elsewhere by "happenstance" (quotes because the royals may have planned it) and learn about each other. Maybe even have them all be a bit prickly to these random strangers and not really get along with them at first. But the main thing is, what happened in this chapter should probably have happened in quite a few chapters from now.

Oh, and hint at a reason for them having to bear the elements once more. In the show, the elements had no connection to anypony until Nightmare Moon returned and, suddenly, the elements were needed yet again. It doesn't have to be bluntly obvious yet, maybe just drop a concerned look on one of the royals, or a mutter as the Six leave.

Also, "'My freinds, the bearer's of these, are growing weak.'" should be "My friends, the bearers of these, are growing weak."

And this switches from past to present tense a few times over. Make up your mind. >-<