Talk:Disney Create/@comment-10011704-20130609133014

Does anyone think my story is any good? (this is just the first 3/4 of a page)

 This has got to be the hottest day of the summer, I thought, turning the notch on my pocket fan onto full blast.



 It was June 19, the day after school let out in Addison Hollows, New Hampshire. When I checked my iPod touch in the morning, it was already 87º, and I bet it had reached the high 90s since it was 2:45 pm.

 I really wanted to go inside, but my mom kicked me out of the house. “Go outside and enjoy nature that isn’t made out of pixels!” she had said.

 Yeah right.

 So there I was. Suddenly, I heard a loud, angry rrrrrring sound and my ponytailed dark brown hair fell into my face. “Shoot!” I cried. “Battery’s dead.” I chucked the fan across my yard, slamming into the basketball hoop and landing on my mom’s car.

 I heard a snicker, and a familiar and irritating voice called from behind me and I jumped. “What’d the fan do to you?”