Talk:Isparklehearts/@comment-8019418-20130615014834

I posted this to show my life story- its long >_<

                        Ditched    

  I can’t believe  Susan had the nerve to do this to me! She was my best friend for two  years! I swore I never did anything wrong to anybody, yet why is she doing this to me? On that day, Susan was crushing me like a forklift driver. I didn’t even know why I was hiding in my cage this whole time.

  I was the shy kid who never said a word to anyone all day. My thoughts were never blank, I just thought all I said would be best if I kept it to myself. I didn't want any trouble. I wore glasses, and behind those were a pair of dusky brown eyes. My hair was midnight brown that glows in the sunlight.

  Then there was Susan, my ‘best friend’ who was courageous, funny, outgoing, bossy... She had perfectly straight midnight black hair, pale skin and shimmering black eyes. Every little thing she told me to do, I did it because, well, she was my friend.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  I just knew there was no one else to be friends with because ( I thought ) everyone else already had a best friend or someone else to hang out with. I didn't want to be some stranger in the classroom randomly sitting there with no volunteers asking to be my partner in school work; no one was there. There was nothing I could do other than be her friend and be bossed around all day. I'd actually rather have that. I thought Susan and I were real friends, until this particular day of school.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">                                                                  * * * * *

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  It was recess time like every other at Northpoint Elementary School. Susan and I would wait in line for the end of every recess to come so we could be first to enter the school. We did this everyday like my life had no meaning. I would just sit there and be Susan’s “bookmark”.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  She felt the need to preach to me as I was standing on line as usual, “Hey Claire, could you do me a quick favor?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  “What is it?” I hesitated.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  “I need to go find my sweater. I think I left it on the bench yesterday. Could you do me a favor and wait in line for me?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">   I disgust being alone and Susan knows that, but I don’t want her to get angry, “Yea, okay,” I trembled. She gave a wee grin as if to say, “ <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">thanks Claire”. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Then she barreled away towards the playground. I tilted my head trying to spot her but she was clear out of sight. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">So what if you can’t find her <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">? My conscience spoke loud enough in my head, <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;"> She’ll come back soon enough!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  I tried not to worry about Susan. Why am I so pumped up anyway? I guess I despise the fact that I was alone with no one to hang out with for a while. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">This happens everyday Claire! No biggy! <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">I don’t want this to be my life! My head was eager to tell somebody, but who? I obviously never told Susan the truth about me, three words echoed in my head, don’t-be-afraid.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">   It took <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">fifteen <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;"> minutes for Susan to take her jacket? Now that is ridiculous! <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Hold up Claire! <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">My mind spoke once more, <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;"> Maybe she’s talking to one of those teachers and asked about her sweater. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">I tried thinking again, where was Susan and who was she talking to? I inspected everywhere around the playground- no sight of her.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">   Then something caught my eye as a ray of sunlight streamed through my glasses shield. It was the playground ring that the school got last year. It was a thick pole that bent over. At the top of the pole was the ring that was broad,thick and heavy- like a car’s steering wheel. Kids would hang on it and be pushed by others to be swung around.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;"> Suddenly, I felt salt on my heart, somewhat a bitterness rushing through my entire body leaving my blood as cold as a reptile’s. Susan was on the playground ring this whole time. I could hardly stand the fact that Susan has been leaving me here all alone. I could feel the tear that blurred out my eyesight. I wiped the trickle off my cheek making sure no one would notice me.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  The whistle for the end of recess blew, “FWEEEEETTT! Third graders! Let’s come on back! Come on! Hurry, hurry!” my gym teacher rushed us, “Lets go, lets go!” I don’t know why, but I have the habit of accusing people of stuff that I suspect about them.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  “Hey Claire, thanks for saving my spot.” As bad as it sounds, it was Susan scratching her head acting like nothing had ever happened. Why would she do this to me? She leaves her best friend out here to do nothing and still plays without her? I don’t get how Susan thought she could pull this all off.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  “So, where’s your sweater?” I could have choked up with words on the way I said that- I’m <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">horrible <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;"> with words.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  “Oh,” she shrugged, “I just realized it was in my locker.” <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">When did she realize that? <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;"> Conscience was <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">really <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;"> starting to get on my nerves.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  “But I saw you playing on the playground.” I felt so sick I could barf out my words now.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  “No I wasn’t.” she shot at me trying to hold a completely still eye contact. I turned around to look away as the tears start to drizzle down my cheek. betrayal, by the only friend you had. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">You really had no one Claire <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;"> <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Conscience’s voice spoke, <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Susan wasn’t even a real friend. She’s not right either. Just forget about her. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">I stormed off keeping my head down, not saying a single word to no one.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  For the rest of the school day- and everyday, I tried avoiding her ever since. Whenever she tries to speak or start a conversation with me, I try to act casual as always but my emotion seemed to show somehow.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;"> “Are you alright?” she would ask me every once a week.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  I look away avoiding to meet her eyes, it was tensed- the back of my head blew off, I was sweating, my mind blacked out on me leaving my heart slowly beating. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Just say the words Claire. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;"> I couldn’t hold back for tiny tears. I went on trying to keep my voice with me,“Yea, I’m fine..”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">   Susan looked at me uncertainly, then her look suddenly changed the expression to-     “ <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">hump <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">, <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">not like my problem,” <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">face. “Oh, okay then,” she turns around and moves on with life, leaving me with a dreadful, cold and sour ending of each and everyday.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">   You might be wondering- <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">hmm, no happy ending? <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;"> Well, Susan ended up moving to Wisconsin, and eventually, I <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">did <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">open up to new friends. They were friends I knew I could trust, we treat each other fairly.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  Let me tell you something, not everything lasts forever, not even friendship, not even people, and sometimes, nothing is always what is seems. Sometimes, windows are blurry and need some wiping through the glass to make meanings crystal clear. Sometimes that broken bucket with a hole can water many <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">beautiful <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">flowers than the other bucket without holes. The clock may never turn counter clockwise- but most importantly, things <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">will <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">get better.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">  It will be a happy ending, only if you make it a happy ending. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Georgia;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Hope you like this little essay~